A couple has been married for years, but neither knows how to tell the other that their needs have changed. A woman worries that expressing desire will invite judgement. A man feels embarrassed admitting that stress has affected his interest in intimacy. These are not necessarily unusual situations, yet many people find them harder to discuss than almost anything else in their relationships.
In India, intimacy often comes with an unspoken rule – some things are best left unsaid. The result is that assumptions, rather than reliable information, can shape how people understand their bodies, partners and relationships. Arisha Nigam, founder of Thrillerrr, a wellness and personal care brand, believes many of these misunderstandings begin long before a person enters a relationship. “We grow up hearing certain things about men, women and marriage, and rarely stop to question them. When nobody is comfortable having an honest conversation, people can spend years believing something that simply isn’t true.”
One persistent belief is that men naturally have stronger desire than women. Women are often expected to be reserved, while men are expected to initiate intimacy. This leaves little room for the reality that desire varies between individuals and can change with stress, health, medication and relationship dynamics.