‘Fashion you can buy, but style you possess’: Iris Apfel’s timeless lesson on finding your own style
Because style has as much to do with confidence and attitude as it does with clothes, that’s.
And that’s where Apfel’s idea of style being something you “possess” makes sense. Style isn’t about asking, “What should I wear?” every time you open your wardrobe. You can buy the latest clothes. You can follow every trend. You can even recreate a celebrity’s look from head to toe. But does that automatically mean you have style? Iris Apfel didn’t think so. The late fashion icon once put it simply: And perhaps that’s why her words continue to feel relevant in a world where fashion trends change almost overnight. Fashion is easy to shop for. Style is much harder to define. A new dress, a pair of shoes or an expensive handbag can change what’s hanging in your wardrobe. But none of these things can tell you what actually suits your personality. That takes time. Style often comes from knowing what you like, what you don’t, what you’re comfortable wearing and what you’re willing to experiment with. It can also change as you do. It isn’t about having the biggest wardrobe or wearing the most expensive labels. It’s about making what you wear feel like you. Fashion loves rules. Style doesn’t always follow them. There are endless guides telling people what to wear, which colours go together, what is flattering and what’s supposedly out of fashion. But personal style rarely develops by following a fixed list of instructions. What works for one person may look completely wrong on another. Someone can wear a simple white shirt and jeans and look completely at ease. Someone else can wear a dramatic outfit covered in prints, jewellery and colour and make that feel equally natural. Neither needs to dress like the other. Apfel’s own style was proof of that. She was known for oversized glasses, bold jewellery, bright colours and unexpected combinations. Her clothes didn’t seem designed to disappear into a crowd. They reflected her personality. And that’s really the point behind her quote. At some point, it becomes about asking, “What feels like me? That answer can take years to find. But once you do, fashion becomes less about chasing what’s new and more about knowing what you want to say without saying a word. Looking for trusted parenting advice? Follow TOI Parenting Circle on Instagram for expert guidance, relatable stories, and practical tips delivered every day. Get the latest Lifestyle News and more. Download the TOI app.