His mother replaced strictness with activities, conversations and time together
He said he was the youngest entrant there, despite the centre having a policy of allowing children aged 13 and above. “Usually, their policy was for children above 13. Because they felt I was very calm,” he said, but they allowed me to enter when I was eight. Because we should not underestimate the power of these small activities, “I am telling you all this.
He says it happened much earlier, when she realised that the way she was trying to teach him was not working. 10 Sept 2026 | 12:19 He said the school was telling his mother that he might have to be removed because they considered him “stupid” and said he would not even look towards the blackboard. “My mother realised when I was in nursery itself that she would have to change her ways with me,” he said, recalling how the school was telling her, “You will have to take him out. His mother initially tried being strict with him at home, but he says that approach had the opposite effect. His response, he said, made her realise that aggression was not going to help. “She once told me, ‘If you don’t study, I will hit you. And I handed her a knife and said, ‘Hitting me is not going to change anything. After that, he said, his mother changed her approach. The graduate said his mother did not avoid difficult topics, but changed the way she discussed them with him. “She never made me feel that I was small, that she was older, or that she considered herself superior to me,” he said. “Maintaining eye contact, asking open-ended questions and not interrupting me- these things made a difference,” he said. Over time, he said, these small changes helped their relationship become more like a friendship. My screen time was actually my moon time,” he said. Gradually, he said, he developed a habit of engaging with activities in different settings. For his mother, he said, experiences like these mattered more than his eventual admission to IIT Bombay. “For my mother, all of this was a bigger achievement than me getting into IIT Bombay,” he said. “She felt that these unconventional choices had worked, because she could see improvements in me,” he said. Through them, a child can flourish in different directions,” he said.
For one IIT Bombay graduate, his mother’s biggest parenting achievement did not come when he eventually made it to the prestigious institute. In a video shared on Instagram, the graduate recalled how his mother began changing her approach after teachers at his nursery school started expressing concerns about him. He is stupid. He does not even look towards the blackboard. He recalled an incident when she threatened to hit him if he did not study. Here, take this,’” he recalled. Instead of constantly pushing him to study, she began spending time with him and doing different activities together. He also recalled how she focused on maintaining eye contact, asking open-ended questions and allowing him to finish speaking. One of the activities they shared was walking together. He also recalled looking at the moon with his mother, something he particularly enjoyed. “We used to walk around together and then look at the moon. I really liked it. It helped me. Dancing was another part of their time together. “And then there was dancing. What can I even say about that? She would bring music herself and start dancing,” he recalled. The graduate also spoke about an unusual experience at a meditation centre in Pune. He explained that her unconventional choices had worked for him and that she had seen improvements in him. His larger point was about how parents sometimes underestimate the impact of seemingly ordinary activities. The story does not suggest that one particular activity or parenting method works for every child. Instead, it highlights the importance of observing how a child responds and being willing to change the approach when something is not working. For some children, repeated instructions, pressure or strictness may not necessarily improve engagement. Spending time together, allowing conversations to continue without interruption and finding activities that a child genuinely enjoys can create opportunities for communication without making every interaction about performance. In his account, the shift was not about removing expectations altogether. It was about finding a different way to connect with the child first. For his mother, the result was not simply an IIT Bombay admission years later. It was seeing a child who had once struggled to engage with the classroom gradually become more comfortable exploring, communicating and participating in activities around him. Looking for trusted parenting advice? Follow TOI Parenting Circle on Instagram for expert guidance, relatable stories, and practical tips delivered every day. Get the latest Lifestyle News and more. Download the TOI app.
That is when my friendship with her started becoming deeper,” he said. “She never presented these activities as, ‘This is your routine task and you have to do it.’” “She responded by calmly spending time with me and doing a few activities. These activities, he pointed out, were never presented as compulsory tasks or another part of his routine.