Farah Khan
28 Jul 2026 | 16:22 The filmmaker also chose the title track of Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna for the goodbye, a small detail that made an already emotional moment feel even more familiar to parents who have watched their children grow from needing them for almost everything to suddenly preparing to live independently.
Farah captured the milestone through family pictures and an emotional message, telling her children to “go live your lives” while reminding them that home would always be there. Three cities. Three campuses. Three goodbyes. For Farah Khan , sending her children off to college was not one emotional farewell but three. Her triplets, Czar, Diva and Anya, have moved out of Mumbai to begin university in the US, each heading to a different campus. And that is perhaps the strange part of this parenting milestone: you spend years teaching your child how to stand on their own, only to discover that you are not quite prepared for the day they actually do. Why letting go can feel like grief When a child leaves for college, the change is not simply logistical. The daily rhythm of family life changes. There may no longer be someone asking what is for dinner, leaving clothes around the house, calling from another room or appearing at the kitchen door with a completely unrelated question. For parents, those seemingly ordinary interactions can make up a large part of their identity. The American Psychological Association notes that parents may experience grief and a sense of identity loss when adult children leave home. At the same time, psychologists describe this period not as a disorder, but as a natural developmental transition that can also create space for parents to rediscover their own interests and goals.
That explains why the emotional reaction can sometimes surprise even parents who have been eagerly waiting for their child’s next chapter. They know the child is not disappearing. The relationship is simply changing. The hardest part may be losing the role For years, parenting can revolve around being needed. You organise school, meals, appointments, homework, activities, holidays and countless small decisions. Then college arrives and suddenly many of those responsibilities belong to the young adult. That can leave parents asking an uncomfortable question: If my child doesn’t need me in the same way anymore, what exactly is my role now? Psychologists studying the transition suggest that parents do better when they begin thinking about the relationship they want with their adult child rather than trying to preserve the relationship they had when the child lived at home. That may mean replacing constant supervision with trust, advice with availability and daily check-ins with communication that works for both sides. Letting go does not mean stepping away Farah’s message to her children captures this distinction beautifully. She encouraged them to go and live their lives, while reminding them that the road would always lead back to their parents. That may be one of the healthiest ways to look at the transition. A child leaving home does not mean the parent-child bond has ended. It means the bond has to make room for independence. Parents may no longer be the person making every decision, but they can remain the person their child calls after a terrible day, a difficult exam, a first big success or simply when they miss home. And perhaps that is what makes the college goodbye so emotional. The goal of parenting was never to keep children close forever. It was to give them enough confidence to leave and enough security to know they can always come back. Looking for trusted parenting advice? Follow TOI Parenting Circle on Instagram for expert guidance, relatable stories, and practical tips delivered every day.