This story is based on an article originally published by The Better India as part of its series, “Parenting: What Google Won’t Tell You”. For Mumbai-based working mother Merlyn D’souza, parenting is not about being perfect or meeting every expectation. It is about making her children feel loved, safe and understood, even on days when balancing work and family feels overwhelming. An Associate Director of Public Relations at EL SOL Strategic Consultants, Merlyn is raising a six-year-old daughter and a one-year-old son. After a long day at work, the sight of her children running towards her for a hug is one of the moments she looks forward to most. It reminds her that being a good parent is not about doing everything right but about being present for the little moments that matter.
“Children don’t need a picture-perfect mother; they just need you,” she says. For Merlyn, this means letting go of unrealistic expectations and understanding that every family has its own circumstances. There is no single routine or parenting method that works for everyone, and trying to match someone else’s version of motherhood can make an already demanding role feel even more exhausting.
Because she has support at home, balancing a career with parenting is easier for Merlyn. her husband and in-laws look after the children While she is at work. Knowing they are cared for helps her focus on her professional responsibilities without constantly worrying about being away from them. Once she returns home, she tries to make the time she spends with her children meaningful. One of her everyday rituals is bathing them before bedtime, a simple routine that allows her to slow down and reconnect with them after the workday. Merlyn’s approach to parenting also shapes how she responds when her children have tantrums or difficult moments. One firm rule in their home is that parents do not raise their hands. Instead, the focus is on allowing children to process their feelings rather than using fear to control their behaviour. She has also stopped comparing her parenting journey with those of other mothers. Social expectations can make parents feel that they are falling behind, but Merlyn believes every family has its own challenges, choices and experiences.
“Don’t compare,” she says. Her advice is straightforward: try to understand rather than control, support your partner emotionally and learn to let go of comparisons. “We all have our own individual journeys, and we cannot have the same stories to tell. For Merlyn, parenting does not need an elaborate routine or a perfect balance between work and home. Some days will be difficult, and others will feel messy or exhausting. But when she walks through the door and her children run towards her, she is reminded of what matters most. Being a present parent, she has learnt, is less about doing everything perfectly and more about making the moments together count.