“One is the freestyle poetry and one is the poems written in verses, main dono ke beech ka kaam kar rahi hun,” Nayab Midha told us.
I wrote my first poem on patriotism in Class 9 and misspelt patriotism. I came to college in Delhi in 2014 and since then I have been listening to cuss words. Because i am sensitive about feminism and equality, that spoiled my appetite to read. Because the world is in a sad state, intolerance has increased. And I was getting jobs in Delhi, so that is what made me come to the city.
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Today, she says performing transformed her life from people telling her “ kitna bolti hai ” to “ kitna achha bolti hai ”. When I started reading about him, a quote came where he had said shit about women. Three-four years ago, someone asked me, what would be the title of your autobiography and I said, ‘Nicknook’, na idhar ki na udhar ki.
Twelve years ago, storyteller and poet Nayab Midha chose Delhi over Mumbai for financial reasons. She found a job with an event management company, but a year and a half of what she describes as ‘toxic’ gig work made her realise she wanted to work for herself. The poems that had until then lived in her diary eventually found a stage and an audience. How different is Nayab the person from Nayab the poet? The poet is courageous and the person is raised to be scared of everyone. I am an extremely empathetic person. I cannot get out of an emotion easily, but I have the practice of covering up my emotions. And since I have been performing on stage, I have learnt how much to emote and how much to hide. But I also know what the audience is going through. When I see a mother cry or a daughter cry, I can sense which part of the poem made them cry. Like I knew there is no father figure when there were a single mother and a daughter in my audience and the mother embraced the daughter, as if she was protecting her, the moment I spoke about fathers. On stage, it’s not about me. It’s about me on all other days but not when I am on the stage. Then, it is about my audience. When someone asked Nayab, what would be the title of her autobiography, she replied, “Nicknook, na idhar ki na udhar ki. Has turning poetry into a profession changed the way you write? I am quite ashamed of it. But it is funny also… nahin tha uss time ChatGPT ye sab theek karne ke liye. Woh Nayab sochti bahut achha thi. Now my brain is polluted. She was so pure. It was a child’s brain. That Nayab didn’t know duniya kaise function karti hai . For example, I wanted to read Friedrich Nietzsche. Sometimes you realise all these people you liked were absolute patriarchal. Do you worry about being known only for your first viral poem Muskurao ? Mera jeewan hi cusp hai . I always feel I am standing on two boats. I belong somewhat here and I belong somewhat there. To be a poet, and to be doing the kind of work that I do, the kind of language I do, ye bhi cusp hai, ki aap bahut gehri Hindi ya Urdu mein kavitaayein nahin kar rahe hain. Aap gazal nahi likh rahe hain, aapko metre nahi pata hai, aap joh dil mein aa raha hai woh likh rahe hain. I am like free verse poet banungi, toh ye bhi cusp hi hai. One is the freestyle poetry and one is the poems written in verses, main dono ke beech ka kaam kar rahi hun . Social media has given everyone a voice, but it has also made everyone a critic. Have you become better at filtering out the noise? I don’t get this debate of social media pe ‘koi kuch bhi bol sakta hai’. At the end of the day, it is a mirror to society. Koi kuch bhi bol sakta hai kyunki woh soch raha hai. Problem is not that they are saying what they want to, the problem is that they are thinking about what they are saying. The root problem is how people think. We are not focusing on the root problem. I also don’t get this shock that people are feeling ki ladkiyan itni gandi bhasha bol rahi hain social media pe. We can’t be shocked by the fact that humaare desh ke bachche gaali de rahe hain. Hence, it is a courageous choice to not abuse and still say what you want to say. Collectively, as a country we are quite low on the happiness quotient. And when people are unhappy, they look for reasons to fight. Kyun Delhi ki sadkon pe log itna ladte hain… kyunki jam hai, teen ghante se nikle hue hain , office se thak kar aa rahe hain , soch rahe hain jitna kaam kar rahe hain, utne paise nahi mil rahe hain …so you come to the road with all this frustration. ‘I could not afford Bombay’ Nayab speaks fast, reads fast, moves between languages without announcement. A journalist once called her poetry “rap vaali kavita. She does not object. I think Delhi ke alawa mera kahin aur kaam chalega bhi nahin. Merko shaanti bardasht nahi hogi. In your 20s, you don’t even want shaanti ,you want to hustle, you want to earn money, so it was either Mumbai or Delhi. But I could not afford Mumbai. Mumbai mein toh har koi star hai , but Delhi mein poetry culture paanch saal pehle kam tha . So, I decided to start from here. Download the TOI App.
How did you find your way into spoken-word poetry when you didn’t come from a traditional literary background? I am the most unread poet. I used to journal. I would write five pages of my diary every night. I was very lonely as a child and I think that fueled it. I was not a loner, I used to have so many friends, but I would still be lonely. I used to feel hollow and my diary helped me. Then, when I came to Delhi, I started going to these contests at Delhi University and for the first time in life, I used to win. An average kid was given first prize in poem recitation…I felt like I had found my calling. Of course, I was delusional to think that, but I still thought, ye mast hai .. logg kavita suna kar YouTube pe daal rahe hain, main bhi daalungi. What are you trying to create between yourself and the audience when you perform Ye sirf kavita sunana nahi hai. Aap frequency pe khel rahe ho. Aap frequency faink rahe ho aur woh pakad rahe hain. Woh ro rahe hain aapki baaton pe, hass rahe hain, itna connect kar rahe hain. You were born at the cusp of Gen Z and Millennials. Do you actually identify with Gen Z, or do you feel caught somewhere between the two?
Somebody told me, ‘Don’t just be a Muskurao girl’. Hum artists ek dusre ko bahut advice dete hain . If you meet artists, you will realise that we are very narcissist people. They are self-centered people, especially performing artists; they get habitual of the world revolving around them. But Shah Rukh Khan has embraced his iconic pose. Priyanka Chopra continues to be the ‘desi girl’. Aisa toh nahin hai unhone isse behtar kaam nahi kiya , but when you look at them, you recognise them with that one piece of work. So, I think we don’t get to choose what people know us by. Unless I spend a lot of money on marketing ( laughs ), I can’t get them to say what I want them to say. Organically, what will touch them will touch them.