Rani said she herself learns from her daughter and described her as “a very good mix” of her and her husband Aditya Chopra.
28 Jul 2026 | 16:22 For Rani, one of the biggest differences between her childhood and her daughter’s is the way children respond to instructions. A child is told, “No phone after 9 pm. Because of my mother, “I am also an actress. Because it may not be good for her health, she cannot expect the child to simply accept the instruction, if she tells her daughter not to eat something.
Rani said she herself learns from her daughter and described her as “a very good mix” of her and her husband Aditya Chopra. “I have a Gen Alpha child, and I learn a lot from her too,” she said. “When my mother was raising me, if she told me something, whether I thought it was right or wrong, many times I simply accepted it,” she said. She told me to become an actress, so I became one. “With new generation, what I am seeing is that you have to reason with your child,” Rani said. “As a parent, you have to be on your toes and know everything,” she said. I have to be on my toes and I also have to follow what I teach her,” she said. She added: “The way you behave at home, the way you live your life, the way you conduct yourself, the child grows up watching all of that. ” That becomes particularly relevant when children are growing up surrounded by smartphones and social media. “She watches, but of course, there are parental controls,” she said. Instead of ending the discussion with “Because I said so”, parents can explain that sleep, school and the next day’s routine are being prioritised. Rather than simply saying, “You are not old enough for Instagram,” parents can explain what makes social media different from watching a television programme.
“She has a lot of wisdom for her age. She recalled that her mother even influenced her career choice. I actually wanted to become something else. She gave a simple example. “I have to explain why. And if she understands the reason and thinks it is right, then she will not eat it. But the reasoning has to be correct. She believes children learn less from direct instructions than parents sometimes assume. Rani also made another point that goes beyond screen rules or food choices: parents cannot expect children to follow lessons they do not see being practised at home. “Yes, yes. “People often ask, what do you teach your children? What values do you give them? I always tell everyone that children are never really taught something directly. Children grow up by watching. They learn by watching you. Not entirely. When asked whether her daughter watches TV, OTT platforms and social media, Rani clarified that she does allow screen use, but with restrictions. “We let her watch what is right for her, and there is a parental lock on her TV. Consider a familiar situation. The immediate response may be, “Why? The same applies to social media. There are strangers, direct messages, public comments, targeted content, edited images and pressure to keep up with other people. The child may still disagree. But disagreement is not the same as refusing to understand. There is another practical lesson hidden in Rani’s approach. If children need reasons, parents need to be willing to have conversations rather than deliver lectures. A parent can ask: “What do you think is good about this app? “What do you think could be risky? “If someone you don’t know sends you a message, what would you do? These questions give parents a better idea of what the child actually understands. They also make it easier to spot gaps in that understanding. A child may know that they should not talk to strangers but still believe that someone with mutual friends is automatically safe. Another child may know that edited photos exist but still compare their appearance with influencers online. The conversation needs to keep changing as the child grows. Children may not repeat a parent’s instructions word for word. They often repeat patterns they see. Rani’s strongest parenting point may not be about social media at all. It is that children watch what parents do. A parent who tells a child to keep their phone away during meals while scrolling through their own phone at the dining table is sending two different messages. A parent who tells a child not to shout during an argument but regularly loses their temper at home is doing the same. That makes everyday behaviour part of parenting, whether parents intend it or not.
But she says that approach does not necessarily work with today’s children. Rani’s comments offer a useful lesson for parents of today’s children: a rule works better when a child understands its purpose.
Watch yourself before watching your child
Rani Mukerji says parenting a Gen Alpha child has taught her that the rules of parenting have changed. The actor spoke about raising her daughter Adira in an interview on DD News’ show Decode, where she was asked about keeping her daughter away from social media and how she approaches parenting in a generation growing up with screens. Rani’s statement can be turned into a simple exercise. The next time a child breaks a rule, parents can ask themselves one question before correcting them: “Does my child regularly see me following this rule? If the answer is no, the conversation may need to begin with the parent. This is especially useful with digital habits. If parents want children to put phones away before bedtime, they can create a family charging point outside the bedroom. If they want children to stop checking notifications during conversations, they can do the same. If they want children to question what they see online, they can demonstrate that behaviour by discussing why they do or do not trust something they see on social media. The point is not to become a perfect parent. It is to make the household rules visible in everyday life. Keeping a young child away from social media does not have to mean making the same decision forever. As children become older, parents can gradually move from blocking to guiding. At one stage, parental controls may be enough. Later, parents may need to explain privacy settings, public profiles, screenshots, online friendships, cyberbullying and what personal information should never be shared. Looking for trusted parenting advice? Follow TOI Parenting Circle on Instagram for expert guidance, relatable stories, and practical tips delivered every day.
Unlike the way she was raised, she believes children today need parents to explain the reason behind a rule before they accept it.
That may be a more realistic approach for many parents. Screens are already part of children’s lives. The question is increasingly not whether children will use them, but how much access they get, what they watch and whether parents are helping them understand what they see. File photo
